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dave
Age. 35
Gender. Male
Ethnicity. Chinese
Location Valley Village, CA
School. Cornell Univ
» More info.
Suicidal squirrel (II)
305th day of 2005
Life has really been sucking. I feel more depressed than the bellybutton of a fat bastard. I need a job offer and $1B. Now!

Anyway, onto the story of the suicidal squirrel. (It's part II, because I've once recounted another tale of a squirrel that committed suicide. It's documented in one of my blog entries.) And, yes, like all my entries, this is entirely based on fact.

So... what started off as a crappy, cold day ended up in utter tragedy. Actually, this event took place mid-day, around 11.

I was walking back home to get something, when I heard this rustling sound. I look over, and to my befuddlement, I saw this squirrel climbing up the side of the brick building. That's amazing, I thought. Seriously, I had no idea squirrels could do that. I thought they could just climb trees. Those silly reptiles!

Anyway, I walk around the building, continuing on my trek back home, down 2 flights of stairs. I then turn back to see where the squirrel was. And then it happened...

I saw the squirrel fall off the building. It was about four stories high, so it fell quite a distance. When I saw the squirrel falling down, my mind just registered with a "what the hell?"

But then--

What really traumatized me was the sound of the impact when the squirrel hit the cement ground. Ooooh man. That was so0o0o nasty. The sound was like a really loud crack.

So you can imagine what I had for dinner.

Afterwards, I kept on thinking about that suicide. And, so I was thinking, if I had walked a little slower, that squirrel could've fallen on my head. That would've been so shitty. I mean, it would be incredibly painful, nasty, and embarrassing.

All content copyright by dave. Please do not reproduce, recycle, or regurgitate without the express written consent of the CTU.
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13 Comments.


It seems all you think about these days is suicide.
» Bartholomew on 2005-11-01 08:40:49

Questions:
what is a blog signature? y does nuWorld register more online nuTangers AFTER i sign off? y did one of my password protected posts change the password by itself? ok.....lol. juss thought id ask the creator y the world has bugs. haha. ttyl
» middaymoon on 2005-11-01 06:37:02

Squirrels are not reptiles! And where can you get guitar strings at midnight?
» Dr. Brian, Chief Female Nudologist & Goodwill Ambassador to the Super Hot Girls Club (72.43.24.86) on 2005-11-02 09:06:27

what?!?
you had suicidal squirrel for dinner and you didn't call ME??? tiff tiffu...
» Chloefoxx on 2005-11-02 12:20:30

ok...
i am interested. please explain. and hasn't it been ten days since i promoted with aim? lol. please answer my other questions, along with the newest ones:y does nuWorld show more p-pol after i log out, and what's this about points? lol.

ttyl
» middaymoon on 2005-11-03 08:03:22

Perhaps the squirrel was a Shagless Squirrel. 'Tis a terrible thing to be, you know. And re. your comment. I made them break their finger bones one by one using their toes, and recorded how many they could do in the space of two minutes. I still think I should've won an award for it...no one's ever done it before.
» theZEBRA on 2005-11-04 07:54:31

O.O
Wow....just...wow. I have nothing else to say, except perhaps: You have my attention. O.O
» SilverWolf on 2005-11-04 02:29:55

rofl
I've seen a lizard commit suicide, but never a squirrel. Wonder why it did. Maybe it ran out of nuts ...or, perhaps, it just.. fell. Anyways. You don't know me, but I had to comment when Kira (Silverwolf) told me about your suicidal squirrel over AIM. Ha! Not something you read about every day. And then you ate it. -Patpats- Now you know why the doctors put a label on your forhead reading, "Keep away from small children." -takes a permanent marker and writes 'and squirrels' underneath-
» Vampress on 2005-11-04 04:54:24

Aw.
Our poor fuzzy friends. i hate to lose them, although the outcome is quite delicious. Chippy's in purgatory with all the other good squirrels now, dave.
» redintersectsme on 2005-11-05 12:37:26

thnx
i asked the nuWorld questin 2x, and didn't notice...srry. lol
» middaymoon on 2005-11-06 04:35:20

very interesting.....
very interesting indeeeeeed did that squirrel live a goood life? b/c if it didin't I need sum company in the 5th layer of hell....
» CPKviperpheonix on 2005-11-12 12:01:57

song on squirrels, article on squirrels
my noted opus on the sucidal tendencies of furry rodents is, unfortunately no longer available -- but maybe i should set up a website to tide you over, click on this http://citypaper.net/articles/061297/article008.shtml
» Otto Forde (162.84.237.174) on 2005-11-25 04:13:43

1b, eh?
maybe if you ditch school, you can be cool like bill gates and take over the world!
» ikimashokie on 2005-12-13 11:25:37

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