Christmas is just around the corner, and so, I find it befitting to tell the romantic tale of how this precious holiday came to be.

It all began in the Medieval Ages. Christopher Columbus had just "discovered" the New World, throwing the entire world into a state of constant turmoil and flux. Every nation, even the Phillipines, wanted a piece of the new land. And thus, at the Treaty of Versailles, it was decided by the Lord that a tournament would be held where the winning nation could claim rightful ownership of this newly founded continent. This tournament was, of course, World War I.

At the start, there were four crowd favourites: Spain, England, Russia, and China. However, this was all to change when a brilliant man by the name of Albert Einstein was born.

Einstein was born quietly on a small hill in Antartica. He was said to be raised by Arctic foxes until the age of five when, driven by starvation during the Great Depression, mercilessly ate his guardians. With no money and no food, Einstein swam three million miles to the sandy shores of Khazakstan, where he became the indentured servant of Borat, a wealthy Khazakstani potassium exporter.

While under the servitude of Borat, he met Sinclair Seuss, another servant. Sinclair Seuss was a linguistic genius and taught Einstein the Seven Languages of the Ancient World. Einstein was then able to converse with all of God's creatures and from there, began to develop into the evil genius he was destined to be. From the trees, he learned Subatomical Physical Apparitional Chemistry (SPAC); from the ancient Egyptian spiders, he learned Infinite-Dimensional Calculii; and from the forces of nature, he learned how to harnest chi to control the dynamics of economical modulation.

Using these tools, Einstein started to develop powerful war machines, such as the nuclear bomb. At one million a pop, he sold one nuclear bomb to each of the thousand nations competing in WWI, making him a billionaire overnight. That night, he killed Borat and Kevin Federline, and freed his good friend, Seuss.

Seuss bid Einstein farewell and went on to attend medical school in South Africa. He would then spend the next thousand years learning and perfecting black magic.

Since every country now had a nuclear weapon, the landscape of this war was much changed. No country had a distinct edge and likewise, no country was bold enough to attack another. The result: a seemingly interminable war. The war was almost forgotten. The New World was left to the Pilgrims, Quakers, and Palestinians.

And then it happened (one thousand years later).

Einstein unveiled his new war machine, code name: Christmas. He revealed very little detail about this destructive device, except that, over the course of just one night, this machine could reach every household in the entire world. Such inconcievable power--defying the laws of physics, nature, and calculus!

It became obvious to all of the world's dictators that whomever had control of Christmas would win WWI. Thus, a huge bidding war begun (aka: World War II).

Meanwhile, Seuss had just graduated from medical school. Dr. Seuss was born. After spending one thousand years in medical school, Dr. Seuss was eyebrow deep in debt. In fact, he owed every loan shark in every nation his life.

He approached his old friend Einstein and begged him for 28 trillion
euros. Einstein said "No way!" Einstein then ordered his henchmen to have Dr. Seuss killed in the back alleys of Troy.

And then it happened.

Summoning the Spell of Narnia, Dr. Seuss ate the souls of Einstein's henchmen and swore revenge on his old friend. Fueled by vengeance and desperation, Dr. Seuss vowed to steal Christmas. He then drank four litres of Nickelodean Gack and transformed into the Grinch.

As the Grinch, he was a highly inconspicuous and well camaflouged with all surroundings. He stole Christmas with ease on December 25th and planted the evidence in Santa Clause's igloo on the North Pole. The rest, as they say, is history.

Haha, love the story. And the picture.
» randomjunk on 2006-12-23 01:02:05

Thanks for the entertaining story....
» blueyen on 2006-12-23 01:32:16

If they can shrink the moon...
Why not Christmas! Nuts I tell you, nuts!
» JMC on 2006-12-25 05:39:00

wow, you have to be really stupid
to not believe that story. too bad Einstein turned evil, i rather liked him
» middaymoon on 2006-12-25 08:09:48

Don't tell me she actually said ELEPHANTS...
I thought I'd tell you this, because it came to mind earlier today:
I haven't forgotten about the pixel person tutorial! After I get some real-life [haha] projects done, I'll start on it. The Mac version will probably be done first, seeing that's what I'm on all the time, and I'm still gonna do the Windows version also.

Well, hope you had a good Christmas! =)
» invisible on 2006-12-26 09:07:17

LOL!!! That's great! an elephant is biggerthan the moon!! wowers!!!



~winner of the 1st NWF Tournament


(that's going 2 be my comment signature now I think, haha!!)
» CPKviperpheonix on 2006-12-27 07:28:33

UH
» lcas on 2007-01-01 05:46:56

...Nice story
Did that woman actually say Elephants? That'd be haliarious
» rrzhang001 on 2007-01-01 11:25:37

Sorry to bring this here...
Hey, I am sorry to bring this to your journal and I really do feel it's rude and I might seem a bit impatient since I just joined the forum which linked me to you, but I was wondering if you had anymore spare invite codes... If not, I totally understand and I shouldn't have come here to ask, I also understand. I did the request form and posted on the forums, but I was more worried about how previously active the forum was.. once again, not to be rude, but no one had posted in a while, plus I saw that one of them had bots (I think), so I wasn't sure if anyone really used it anymore - so I came here to ask. Anyway... I am sorry I rambled so much. My e-mail is Tifa.Rinoa@gmail.com and I am really interested in this site, as I love journals, but am not too fond of my present one. Thank you so much for your time. Have a wonderful evening.
» Sage (69.112.45.172) on 2007-01-04 01:48:24

Your mom is bigger than the moon.
» Dilated on 2007-01-04 09:52:35

hahas. the woman is crazy. and i dont think htats a real picture.. right? i mean, who asks these kinda giveaway stuff on who wants to be a millionaire?!
» jasmineee- on 2007-01-09 04:47:16

hahas. the woman is crazy. and i dont think htats a real picture.. right? i mean, who asks these kinda giveaway stuff on who wants to be a millionaire?!
» jasmineee- on 2007-01-09 04:48:28

would you please be able to close my account?
Please and thank you =)
» archit on 2007-01-12 11:07:38

OMG... moon cant compete with elephant???
» jolenesiah on 2007-01-26 04:24:40

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