Yesterday night was unbelievably traumatizing. It still kinda creeps me out thinking about it, which makes it seem very odd that I will recount the entire experience here. Well, here it goes, be forewarned.

My manager convinced me to pick up the last shift, telling me I'd get overtime pay. Ha! Turns out that bastard was joking. Anyway, it was around 2 pm, and some guy comes in. He shouts at me: "Give me all the money in the registers!"

I was tired and bored, and confused him to be joking. "Would you like fries with that?" I sheepishly replied.

"What? A wise guy, huh? you skinny little bitch!" He then took out his glock and shot me two times in the arm.

Goddamn, that pain was immense.

Instinctively, I reach below the counter to find that "red button." To my dismay, all I found was a butcher's knife. I pulled that baby out, and with one swift motion, cut off this hoodlum's arm. He then started screaming SOOOOOOO LOUD!! Seriously, it was really annoying. I mean, seriously, if you scream, I get the point that it hurts. Screaming any louder won't make a difference.

He blasted two more shots at me, one striking my face and ripping my left cheek right off. Falling down, I threw the knife at his shooting arm. Damn, it was a nice throw; cut that trigger-happy hand right off.

The paramedics took a while to come. They assessed my wounds and patched everything up in a few minutes. How? you wonder. Well, luckily (*har har*), my skin is made of Play-Doh. This is a very rare condition. However, the paramedics were knowledgable and very prepared, so they had a lot of Play-Doh in their bags.

Anyway, the other guy died from blood loss. I guess the moral of this story is McDonald's doesn't put a smile on everyone's face. And oh yea, my manager was nice enough to take 20% off the Big Mac's for the paramedics.

i wish i had a face made of play-doh...
—JuStBlUe on 2003-11-25 04:37:04

i sent da guy
u think ur all powerful, dismembering my henchmen then ur messsing with da wrong man...killin's my penchant u wanna talk about glocks, while ur handling burgers
—dean on 2003-11-25 07:24:15

For a second their i though it was true but then i was laughing my ass off till one of dean's henchmen came up behind my with a glock to my head. then i was like 'do you know who your messing with' this is chow yun fat's apprentice and i busted out some matrix shit and sent him back to dean's shack in the ghetto. did you get the message i sent you dean?
—browneyes on 2003-11-26 02:21:37

woah!
lol! hey dave! its me and my boyfriends two year anniversary on november 25th! well HAPPY THANKSGIVING DAVE!! -darleen
—0__o on 2003-11-27 07:44:18

how do you come up with these stories? you must have a very creative imagination.:-)
—tradewind on 2003-11-28 12:42:41

sad truly sad
for i have also encountered deans henchmen..me and dean were playing a good game of basketball..and i whooped his ass...so he sent a henchmen to kill me during the night..he pulled his glock out on me..so i when bruce lee on him..i bent his gun back so far if faced him..then i pulled the trigger...WATTTTTAAAAAAAAAA...i would like WAATTTTAAA because i am very tired..then i went back to sleep..the end.
—swis on 2003-12-01 07:28:45

neat story.
it would be great in the short story portal thing. that would be kewl... very convincing... except maybe the Play-Doh... but that reminds you it's not wholly true, so it's a bit more enjoyable to read. um, yeah... that's my opionon.
—invisible on 2003-12-01 10:54:10

you're entirely too funny for your own good. thanks for the welcome message. i'm going to add you as a friend because i can.
—adreen on 2003-12-02 02:29:33

o
superisiotn
—dean on 2003-12-02 07:03:45

You must work at the Mac Ds in the next town over from here, that's one shady place i tell ya what
—yourname on 2003-12-02 10:00:12

o_0
thats amazing.. o yes and who drives the car? i didnt read the article but its on the front page of onlineshowoff.com
—NaErOk on 2003-12-03 02:52:53

wow
You are one creative guy. where do you think of this stuff?
» whatinthenameofpinky on 2003-12-23 02:57:01

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